It's a Small World
by CubsKing
Summary: A pair of visitors in Eureka stir up some minor chaos.  Sequel to both The Universal Tendencies of Super Geniuses and Of Life-saving Research and Faulty Photocopiers


It's a Small World

Timeframe – Set shortly after, and in the same Alternate Universe as, "The Universal Tendencies of Super Geniuses." Also follows "Of Life-saving Research and Faulty Photocopiers" and therefore "Preserving the Fragile Balance", merging the 2 universes together. (Which brings the question to mind, what happens when Alternate Universes collide? Is it anything like when galaxies collide out in space? Does it create temporal anomalies in those respective universes? Ah, psudometaphysics…)

Disclaimer: I own neither Stargate SG-1 nor Eureka. More's the pity.

~'`^`'~-,._.,-~'`^`'~-,._.,-~'`^`'~

"Carter."

The man being paged, Sheriff Jack Carter, jumped when he heard the voice squawk from his radio. He fumbled around for a moment before he found it to make his reply. "Yeah, Jo. What's up?"

"There's someone here who'd like to meet with you. Says his name is Mac. Can you meet him at Café Diem?" Deputy Jo Lupo immediately replied.

"Uh… Yeah, I can be there in 10 minutes," Jack responded.

"Great. He's heading across the street right now," Jo informed him.

"How am I supposed to know who I'm looking for?" the Sheriff inquired.

"Trust me, you'll know," Jo cryptically answered. "Oh, and Dr. Blake should come, too. Hi Allison!"

Both Sheriff Carter and Dr. Allison Blake blushed, even though the women on the other end of the conversation obviously couldn't see them.

"I've already called Zoë to wake her up so I can pick her up to meet you guys for lunch. Or breakfast, in her case. Man, I wish I was a teenager on summer break again!" Jo continued.

"Is that all, Deputy?" Jack said into his radio, trying to hide his embarrassment with bluster.

"Yes, sir," Jo answered. They could hear the smirk evident in her voice. "After I drop Zoë off, I'll be out responding to a call. Ned Carver says that aliens have abducted some of his chickens. Lupo out."

"Have fun with that, Colonel Sanders," Jack shot back.

He looked at the woman that, until a minute before, he'd been busy making out with. "Sorry about that. Ready for lunch?"

Allison quickly smoothed down her outfit. By way of answer she reached out and opened the door to the supply closet in the bowels of Global Dynamics that they were occupying and started towards the elevators.

~'`^`'~-,._.,-~'`^`'~-,._.,-~'`^`'~

As Sheriff Carter scanned the scene through the door to Café Diem a few minutes later while holding it open for his girlfriend, he had to admit that Jo was right. He had no trouble being able to find the person he was to meet. Since it wasn't quite time for the noon rush, the restaurant was almost empty. The only unfamiliar face was a kid who looked to be about his daughter's age sitting in the booth facing the front entrance. Upon seeing Jack and Allison enter, the guy gave a wave to beckon them over.

At first glance, something about the kid seemed awfully familiar, but Jack couldn't quite place him. Before Jack could work it out, the young man stood up to shake their hands.

"Howdy, folks. Name's MacGyver, but you can call me Mac," he said with a bright smile.

"MacGyver? As in _the_ MacGyver?" Allison asked excitedly as she slid into the booth. Jack sat down next to her as Mac retook his seat across the table from them.

"The very same," Mac answered.

"Are you his son?" she questioned

"Not exactly," he said with a smirk.

"What do you mean, not exactly?" Sheriff Carter interjected.

"Come on, Sheriff. You work in Eureka. Think about it for a minute," he retorted with another big, mischievous smile. "You can take your wildest guess, but I bet you still won't get it."

"An age-reversing ray gun? No, no, maybe you're living your life backwards? You're undergoing temporal rehabilitation? Oh, wait, how about this: you're a robot with the real MacGyver's memories downloaded into your positronic brain?"

Mac's grin broadened even further. "Big fan of science fiction, huh, Sheriff?"

"Ever since I took this job, it feels less and less like fiction and more and more like prep work for a normal day at the office," he rejoined.

Mac let out a loud bark of laughter. "Fair enough. How about I give you a hint: Susan Perkins."

A look of shock crossed the faces of both Jack and Allison. "You're a clone?" they asked in unison.

Mac immediately shushed them. "Not so loud!"

"Oh, don't worry. People here won't care. They'll probably see weirder before the day's out," Jack joked. "Wait. How did you know about Susan Perkins?"

Mac's smirk returned in full force. "I think it'll all become clear as soon as my fiancée gets back from the bathroom."

Jack gave a start. "Fiancée? You're barely old enough to shave! You don't even look as old as my daughter Zoë! Just how old are you?"

"55 going on 3 in the body of an 18 year old," he answered with another wide smile.

Jack laid his head on the table and half turned to his companion. "Do you have any Advil in your purse, Allie? If this keeps up, I think I'm going to need something for the headache I can already feel brewing."

"Oh, just wait," Mac replied. "It's gonna get better."

Just then, a shadow fell over the table. Without looking up, Jack started to speak. "Yeah, Vincent, can I get a little glass of water and your strongest, largest cup of coffee?"

"Try again," said a female voice laced with more than a hint of amusement.

Sheriff Carter shot upright and turned to face the other direction. Standing next to him, framed by the sunlight streaming through the front door, was a petite blonde that seemed to have stepped right out of Jack's memories.

"Sam?"

"Hey, Jack," she said with a devilish smile. "It's good to see you again. Or for the first time, as the case may be. By the way, I go by Thera now."

He looked across the table to see a similar grin. Something in the look finally clicked. "You're General O'Neill, aren't you?"

"I was still a Colonel when this happened," he said with a wave at his body as his fiancée sat down next to him. "But yes, I am Jack O'Neill."

"I thought you said you were MacGyver?" Allison asked.

"I am. And that's a long story that we don't really have time to tell right now," Mac said. "Thera and I just stopped for a few minutes on our way through town to surprise you. We're taking a little road trip and checking out some colleges along the coast. The old man insisted that we drop in here to get some lunch before we hit the road again."

At that moment, the door to Café Diem flew open and a very agitated teenage girl thundered inside. Seeing her father, she stormed across the restaurant.

"OK, Dad, what the hell was so important that you had Jo order me out of bed and drag me down here for breakfast?" Zoë Carter angrily spat out as she approached the table.

"Zoë, behave!" the Sheriff yelled back. "I didn't tell Jo to wake you up. She did that on her own, though I'll bet that our guests here are the reason."

As Jack pointed across the table, Zoë glanced quickly at the other side of the booth. She turned back to her father and was about to start in on him again when her brain caught up to her eyes and forced her to do a double take.

"Aunt Sam?" she asked in shock as she stared at the blonde seated closest to where she was standing. The young woman looked exactly like the pictures she had seen in the photo albums at her Grandpa's house. In fact, she could have passed for Zoë's twin.

"Hi, honey," Thera said as she got up and gave her niece a big hug.

"What's going on? How come you're my age?" Zoë asked in confusion.

"The short answer is that we're clones," Thera stated.

"Really?" Zoë asked in disbelief. "How come you aren't the same age as the, uh, other you?"

"It's a long story that I don't really want to go into right now. Let's just say it involves alien accidents. But I need you to accept that I really am your aunt, though my name is Thera now," she explained as she pulled over a chair from a nearby table for her niece. "And this is my fiancé, MacGyver. Or, as you know him, General O'Neill."

Before the conversation could continue further, Vincent came to take lunch orders. While the women were adventurous and ordered the special of the day, the men went with a more traditional buffalo burger, fries and milk shakes.

"So, how long are you here for?" Zoë asked after Vincent had gone to prepare the meals.

"We just stopped in for a few minutes on our way through the area," Mac explained.

Zoë looked crushed. "I just found out that I have an aunt that's my age and size and I don't even get to go shopping with her?"

Thera took a quick glance at her other half before she quickly agreed. "Well, I guess we could stick around for a few hours of shopping. I have to admit, having a virtual 'sister' with a closet to raid and an impeccable sense of taste will be nice. I really don't have much more than a few pairs of jeans and some t-shirts that fit me now…"

"Oh, for cryin' out loud, Carter!" Mac whined. "What am I supposed to do all afternoon?"

"If I know my brother, I'm sure he's found all the good fishing spots in town. And if you're really nice, maybe he'll loan you a pole so you two can spend the afternoon claiming to be fishing," Thera replied.

Jack perked up. "You're a fisherman?" he asked excitedly.

"Ya, sure, you betcha!" Mac answered with a grin.

"Actually, I've got a better idea," Allison interjected. "Why don't you come up to GD and we'll show you something that we've been working on."

Mac groaned. "Don't tell me you've made some sort of virtual reality fishing machine!"

"Is this anything like your baseball simulation?" the Sheriff asked with equal disdain.

Mac turned to Jack. "I tell you, these scientists just don't understand. You really can't improve on sitting out in the sun and relaxing, beer in one hand and fishing pole in the other."

Allison cleared her throat as Thera elbowed Mac in the ribs. "Actually, Taggart has been working on breeding some super intelligent marlin. He says they're ready for a, and I quote, 'thinning of the herd' and was looking for some volunteers to do some deep sea fishing."

"Because the stupidity of fish was a problem that needed to be solved," Jack snarked, earning him an evil glare from Allison. "I mean, do we really need food that's smarter than I am?"

Mac snorted as he tried to hold in his laugh.

"I can get you two set up there after lunch," Allison continued, ignoring the comments from her boyfriend. "I'd join you, but I have lots of paperwork to catch up on this afternoon."

"How convenient. Well, God only knows where it is in GD they've been breeding and raising these fish or what they plan to use for fishing rods, but I guess I'm game," the Sheriff answered.

"That works for me, too," Mac added.

"Great!" Zoë cried. "You guys can take Dad's Jeep and Thera and I will take your car."

"How about we plan to meet back here for dinner at, say, 6 PM? Then you guys can decide if you want to head out or spend the night at our place," the Sheriff asked.

A chorus of agreements met his ears just as a quintet of lunch plates hit their table. The rest of the meal passed quickly as everyone savored their dishes.

As the group headed towards the exit of Café Diem after they finished eating, Mac and Thera stopped to pay their highest compliments to Vincent on the meal while Jack, Allison and Zoë continued outside.

"So, I'll see you tonight, Allie?" Jack asked for confirmation as they exited the restaurant.

"You'll see me before then, Sheriff," she answered.

Jack cocked his head and looked at her in confusion.

"We rode here together, remember?"

"Right!" Jack exclaimed.

He turned to his daughter. "Enjoy shopping with Thera this afternoon, Zoë," he said with an exaggerated shiver.

"Of course," she said. When he continued to just stand there, she decided to prompt him. "Um, Dad? Aren't you forgetting something?"

"What?" he asked.

"I'm going shopping. I need your credit card," Zoë replied.

"Ha! Yeah, right," he laughed. "You're shopping for your Aunt, not yourself. If she wants to buy you something, that's up to her, but you are not running up another shopping spree on my card! Or anyone else's, for that matter!"

"You're no fun!" Zoë pouted.

"I'm your Dad. I'm not supposed to be fun!" he responded

Before Zoë could retort, Mac and Thera joined the party on the sidewalk.

"See you later," Mac said as he gave Thera a quick kiss as he handed her the car keys. "Have fun! You too, Zoë."

"Later!"

~'`^`'~-,._.,-~'`^`'~-,._.,-~'`^`'~

"How was the fishing?" Zoë asked as she and Thera approached the circular table in Café Diem at which her father and future uncle (time 2!) were seated.

Jack and Mac groaned in harmony.

"That good, huh?" Thera asked with a laugh. She and Zoë each took a seat in open chairs around the table.

"What was Taggart thinking?" Jack moaned. "How are you supposed to catch a fish that's smart enough to realize that the bait is, well, bait?"

"Even with all their fancy equipment, we couldn't get anything," Mac added. "They managed to eat all of our bait but avoided the hooks."

"I thought it wasn't about actually catching fish," Thera pointed out.

"It's not," Mac explained. "But when you can literally see the fish and still can't hook them, it's a real insult. Especially when you know that they're doing it just to taunt you! I was tempted to try to find a Zat and get one that way."

"It wasn't until Taggart whipped out an immobilization ray that we were able to finally haul a few out of the water," Jack added. "And even then we didn't get to keep them as a trophy. Taggart kept them for 'scientific study.'"

"But enough about us," Mac said. "How was the shopping trip?"

"Great!" Zoë exclaimed. "We found these great twin motorcycle suits and some really sweet dresses and, of course, matching shoes."

A strangled cry escaped the Sheriff's lips. "Motorcycle suits?"

"Did you melt the magic money card?" Mac questioned with a smirk.

"Actually, we didn't have to pay for anything," Thera remarked with a triumphant grin.

"How'd you manage that, Carter?" Mac asked in awe.

"Well, apparently most of it came from GD Special Projects," she answered. "The motorcycle gear is synthetic leather and infused with a new polymer that's super lightweight and flexible but makes it an indestructible armor. The dresses were cut from leftover cloth from an active camouflage project and can display any pattern loaded onto them. The shoes? Well, those, I did manage to sweet talk them into throwing in for free."

"Excellent," Mac intoned.

"But the best part was when we went over to the house to poke through my closet. SARAH freaked out!" Zoë added.

Jack groaned. "She didn't take hostages again, did she?"

"No, Dad," Zoë replied, rolling her eyes. "She couldn't understand how Aunt Thera's DNA profile matched Aunt Sam's. She called Fargo and demanded a sensor recalibration, a reboot and a full system diagnostic. And then he completely freaked, too, which was pretty funny to listen to."

Jack heaved a sigh of relief.

"So, where's Allison?" Zoë asked.

"She got tied up at the last minute at GD. Something about out of control genetically engineered coffee plants trying to take over the botany labs," Jack explained. "Jo's refilling the flamethrower in case she gets the call."

"You know how Jo loves her heavy weapons," Vincent interjected as he arrived to take their orders. "What would you all like tonight?"

"I'm in the mood for fish," Mac answered. "It's not quite the same as eating what we caught ourselves, but it'll have to do."

"What kind of fish?" Vincent prompted.

"What do you have fresh?" Jack asked, also feeling the same craving.

"It's all fresh, Sheriff," Vincent said with reproach. "Everything I make is fresh."

"Why don't you pick for us? I'm sure whatever you choose will be exquisite," Thera said diplomatically.

"Thank you! I see that the Carter women seem to have inherited all the good taste!" Vincent said with delight. "So, 3 orders of beer-battered tilapia and chips. And for you, Zoë?"

"Make it 4 orders," she returned.

"Can do. I'll be back in a few minutes," Vincent threw over his shoulder as he headed back to the kitchen.

"So, have you decided what you're doing tonight yet?" Jack asked Mac and Thera.

The clones turned to look at each. For a few seconds, they held a silent conversation. A thousand words passed between them in just looks and gestures without a sound uttered.

Finally, Thera turned to her brother. "I'm sorry, but we have to get going. We have to be at the University of Washington tomorrow morning, so we've still got a ways to go tonight before we stop and set up camp."

"You're sure you can't stay?" Jack pressed.

"We're sure," Mac confirmed.

"But we'll be back soon. After all, I promised to teach Zoë how to ride a motorcycle," Thera added.

Jack paled. "What?"

Thera giggled as Zoë nodded vigorously.

The Sheriff groaned again. "You're trying to give me a heart attack, aren't you? I swear you're a worse influence on my daughter than her classmates!"

"Oh, this coming from the man that stole a sport bike when he was 14 to go on a joyride and impress a girl!" Thera shot back.

"What?" Zoë cried in shock as she looked at her father. "You never told me that!" She turned to her Aunt. "You have to tell me the whole story! Right now!"

Fortunately for Jack, he was saved by the arrival of their dinners. After a minute of silence as they started their meals, though, Zoë repeated her demand for the story.

Thera looked at her brother and saw how miserable he looked. She decided to have some mercy. "Sorry, Zoë. Some other time, maybe."

As relieved as Jack looked, Zoë looked even more disappointed. "You can't just drop a bomb like that and then refuse to tell me the story!" she cried.

"Not tonight, Zoë," Thera firmly stated.

"That's not fair!" Zoë whined.

"Life's not fair," Mac opined. "But you'll just have to learn to live with it. Now, let's enjoy the rest of our dinner before it gets cold."

After another 20 minutes of light conversation, everyone had finished their meal.

"Well, I guess it's time to go," Mac pointed out as he pushed back his chair and stood. The Carters soon followed suit.

"Yeah," Thera said with some regret as they all walked out of the café.

When they reached the cars, she turned and gave her brother a hug. "It was good to see you, Jack. We should get together again soon."

"As long as you don't tell any more embarrassing stories," the Sheriff responded.

"No promises," she said with a twinkle in her eyes as she pulled back.

While Mac came over to give Jack a handshake, Thera gave Zoë a long hug. "Call me and I'll tell you all about your father's wild younger days," she whispered in her niece's ear.

"Count on it!" Zoë whispered back as she released her.

"Be good, Zoë," Mac said as he stepped over and gave her a short hug. "I hear from Jack and Sam that you've got a bright future ahead of you."

"Yeah, I can't wait!" she declared.

"Well, don't grow up too fast," he ordered as he got in and started the car. "You're only a kid once. Unless, of course, a rogue alien clones you with a bad Xerox machine…"

The laughter was still ringing in the air as they pulled out and headed back to the highway.

~'`^`'~-,._.,-~'`^`'~-,._.,-~'`^`'~

Published 12-27-10


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